Figuring Things Out
Last week a friend of mine, E and I had this light chitchat while doing the works and she asked if I have book recommendation for boosting self-confidence. I was lightly responding that I do not have one since I possess way too much confidence; my response was purely a joke.
Obviously, there are parts of me that are lacking of enough reasons to have this whole self-confidence. One of them is how I feel like always being slow in figuring-myself-out. I used to always believe in the notion of ‘firmly setting the north-star and get the needle closer to that star’. I used to be in the urgent need of this long-term goal; to decide on what life’s condition I want to build and legacy I want to leave right away right now.
I forgot that in order to set that north-star requires process; as much as the process of figuring the best ways getting the needle closer to that north-star. It is less likely possible to be able figuring those things out right-away right-now.
This realization hit me hard just last month at an event where I met a colleague, C. As one of the facilitators, he introduced himself as someone who jumped on his career-track from an engineer with 5 years tenure experienced in Oil & Gas industry in Qatar to someone who currently takes role in product development at a startup, plus failed in building his-own ventures back here in Indonesia. His story was even more interesting than the materials of the event hahahaha; I approached him and asked him to tell me more, fortunately he was even happier to share his stories.
While having our late lunch, I listened to his career-jumping stories and how self-awareness was taken into account on his journey.
“I just followed the society’s standard; took engineering major, worked in Oil & Gas industry, experienced working in the middle east. Regardless what true potentials I have and want to develop.”
“You got a good amount of money, tho.”, I responded jokingly
“Yes I did, yet it did not stop me from resigning.”, He answered firmly
What amazed me more was that he took two years gap after resigning from his previous job. The two years gap to redefine himself.
For me, what he had been through was astonishing since he was successfully fulfilling society’s standard then in contrast, took big a leap of faith on decision against that very society’s standard.
Continuing our talks, I told him how I have been questioning my decisions on my early career, how difficult it is to find my north-star and what best ways to get there. I have been questiong and in need of the answers.
He was smiling and said, “Why does it has to be right now? Why do you need the answer right now?”
I was stunned, could not answer why it has to be right-away right-now. I have this ‘so that I can start early’ in the back of my mind, yet I did not say a word.
He continued, “I have been reading this book about how generalist and specialist are heading to their successes, entitled ‘Range’. The author brought case of Roger Frederer as generalist and Tiger Woods as specialist. Frederer tried various fields before he chose tennis as his virtue. Whereas, Woods had been nurtured as a golfer since his early age. I would say the success story is better on Frederer’s side as a generalist.”
David Epstein examined the world’s most successful athletes, artists, musicians, inventors, forecasters and scientists. He discovered that in most fields — especially those that are complex and unpredictable — generalists, not specialists, are primed to excel. Generalists often find their path late, and they juggle many interests rather than focusing on one. They’re also more creative, more agile, and able to make connections their more specialized peers can’t see.
I just finished listening to one of my mentors’ podcast, entitled ‘Tentang Tujuan Hidup dan Cara Mencarinya.” (about Purpose of Life and how to Find It). One thing that I highlight was that finding north-star or purpose is a never-ending process. As my other mentor, N, told me that process of figuring things out does exist in every step of life; you just do not stop after one thing is figured out. There will be the next.
Do not rush. Be mindful with the process. Keep progressing, no matter how little it is.
