Networking Guide for Introverts in Big Forums
How to navigate yourself in the over-stimulated networking events
Over the course of six years, I have been learning and unlearning about my introversion character particularly in the networking events that offer some kind of dilemma between ‘I need to show up and build connections’ and ‘OK, this is energy-draining for me’. In this writing, I am jotting down my learnings that hopefully can serve as a small help for fellow introverts to be better at networking in the over-stimulated forums.
Now, to see the bias clearly, you need to understand what introversion is. It’s different from being shy. Shyness is about fear of social judgment. Introversion is more about, how do you respond to stimulation, including social stimulation. So extroverts really crave large amounts of stimulation, whereas introverts feel at their most alive and their most switched-on and their most capable when they’re in quieter, more low-key environments. — Susan Cain, the author of Quiet.
There was a time around five years ago in a beautiful networking dinner at one of Sydney’s bay restaurants where I pulled myself from the crowd and talked to a guard staff instead of building connections with the high-calibre participants at the dinner. Well, I am not against any professions — in fact, I had a memorable conversation with the guard man — but my investment to fly to Sydney and being selected in one of Harvard’s conferences was not to have the talks with the guard man. I did it simply because I was clueless how to seize the opportunities to network while navigating the overwhelming feelings I received from the over-stimulated forum.
Here’s what I learn to not repeat that mistake:
- Embrace the fact that it’s indeed not easy to navigate yourself — as an introvert — in big networking forums, but it is definitely possible and achievable. By accepting this at the very first step, you will be more comfortable in your own skin.
- Believe that everyone has values and expertise to offer, including yourself. I learn that introversion/extroversion has nothing to do with what glue people together, it is the values and expertise. Keep working on what you can offer to the table.
- It is okay to have few of short silent moments for yourself, but be careful of creating a ‘social walls’ impression which makes you seem unapproachable. In a full-day networking forum, I usually take couple of 10–15 minute of silent moments by going out of the building or entering my room (if I stay in the same hotel building). This is helpful to catch my breath and get myself centered again. It is fun that sometimes I find fellow introvert also catching the silent moment and we are saying to each other like ‘recharging huh?!’
- Have a set of purpose and priority of the people you want to connect with and be genuine about it. It is not necessary to network with everyone in the room (it is great if you can!). In my last five-day with 150-people networking event, I had introductory conversations with 50+ people but only connected with around eight people whom I had memorable conversations and exchanged contacts with.
- Leverage your super-power as an introvert; an attentive listener. Not everyone is good at listening but I find introverts generally are attentive listener. In the networking forums where people tend to talk about themselves, being a great listener helps build the reciprocal connections. Introverts tend to be great at asking questions too, which deepens the conversation better.
Dear fellow introverts,
Do not burry your potentials deep down just because it is hard for you to navigate yourself in the over-stimulated environments. You may not have the spotlights and it is totally okay. But remember that your introversion character does not stop you to build meaningful connections with others; in fact it is super helpful. Remember, many notable world’s leaders are also introverts :)
Cheers,
your fellow introvert — Diella.
